Happiness in Family Life

This past few weeks, I've tried something new. There are 5 ways love is categorized: acts of service, physical touch, receiving gifts, quality time and words of affirmation. For me, my love languages are acts of service and physical touch. Which makes me laugh, because my husband is the complete opposite! He would rather spend time together and receive gifts. I've noticed that because, we have different love languages, we tend to have some miscommunication. My husband is wonderful and he gives me some wonderful gifts like, a diamond necklace on my birthday saved up for (which I wear and love). It's a nice and beautiful piece of jewelry but, to me its just an object. It means so much more when my husband puts his shoes in the closet instead of by the door, or when he gets up early and makes me breakfast or dinner after he gets off of work. Please don't take this as me being ungrateful for the things my husband buys me. I love the gifts he buys me, but it the time, effort, and the willingness to serve me that mean more than the object itself. He is an amazing man and I am utterly spoiled by him in every way. When it comes to gift giving, am I so lost! I literally have to take him shopping with me and have him say "this is what I would like", before I even consider buying it.

For St. Patrick's day, I had a surprise for Carson. Back home, we have Lucky the Leprechaun come in, cause some mischief, and leave some fun gifts. I took some green dye and sort of had a little too much fun. I turned our milk and our toilet water green. I bought IBC soda (which is his favorite), and made a trail to the kitchen. There I brought everything green out there. We had green Mormon.org cards lining our cupboards, green washi tape was everywhere, etc. It basically was decorated as if a leprechaun had decorated our house. When my husband got up, he started to laugh. He thought it was so cute and fun. He felt so spoiled and I could tell that his day started off on a good note.

I’ve always known that serving others brings you closer to Christ but, after further studying, I have learned “Our Savior gave Himself in unselfish service. He taught that each of us should follow Him by denying ourselves of selfish interests in order to serve others (Dallin H. Oaks).” I’ve notice since I’ve started to serve my husband and other family members more; our relationship has changed for the better. I’ve notice that there were less quarrels between my husband and I. Carson was less likely to get mad because I was showing him that I was thinking about him and trying to help him. He would try to serve me more. He started to be more mindful of the things that help me out. Ladies, HE PUT HIS SHOES AWAY IN THE CLOSET AND I DIDN’T EVEN ASK. I could see a change in him being more mindful of me. This assignment made me think about how it would be easier to communicate love to people who are harder to love. I started to think how this assignment would be useful for those who have wayward loved ones. We are counseled by the prophets to practice “charity can soften hearts; it can be the catalyst for the prodigal’s homecoming. But it carries no guarantee. Sometimes the young adult needs to leave home for a while. And sometimes the child’s life-style may not change. Just as a parent’s righteous example often—but not always—encourages children to be faithful, exercising charity may—but won’t always—keep them close.” By showing those loved ones that we love them, we are able to keep them close, knowing that they are loved no matter what. It’s just like the Savior with us.

Law of Chasity

I think its so interesting how people don't understand the law of Chasity. If you break the law of Chasity,  you become spiritually dead. You’re not just keeping the commandments today and tomorrow your breaking the law of chastity. Satan works on us little by little, then when we mess up, he makes us feel like there is no return. I’m so grateful for the atonement for this reason. Even when we mess up, we can still repent. The road is hard but, like Elder Holland has said “Salvation was never easy.”

 

Don’t be fooled on what the world is teaching you. Satan is very cunning. He will twist his words to where they make sense and people will believe him. I’ve notice that he will tell most of the truth with a lie in the very end. I’ve seen so many people get swooped up into this way of thinking and have had their lives in turmoil. The worlds view is always changing, whereas God is the same yesterday, today, and forever. 

I never thought of breaking the law of chastity was betraying your family but, it makes perfect sense. Getting involved with pornography or committing adultery is very selfish. Your putting your wants and desires ahead of your family. You’re giving into Satan. I can’t imagine having to tell your family about this. I could only imagine the guilt one would have.

Something I didn’t realize is how there is a law of Chasity for married couples. Obviously, don’t commit adultery but, I thought that was a given. What I didn’t realize that you do it (sorry I have no other way to describe it), out of love for each other. It’s a very sacred experience for you and your spouse. Your marriage is consecrated by the Lord and you should not defile that. 

Covenants and Ordinances

I've been studying Elder David A. Bednar talk, "Honorably Hold a Name and a Standing". This talk made me really think about keeping my temple convents. The temple is a place where you go to learn about Heavenly Father's plan for us, but you have to be living a certain way to enter into the temple. Before you enter into the temple, you must be baptized by someone who holds the proper authority or the priesthood. You also must keep the commandments that the Lord has given. Carson and I have been studying D&C 132. Elder Bednar said “The baptismal covenant clearly contemplates a future event or events and looks forward to the temple.” Before I went through the temple for my mission, I had to prepare. I had to make sure I was not only keeping my convents. I didn't realize it then, but to be honest with myself. I now know how important the convents that I made really are. They are a protection to me and my family. The convents I have made in the temple. About 2 weeks ago, I made a convent to the Lord to cleave unto my husband. I knew that the convent I was making was a big one, but I didn't realize how big it was until I read D&C 132. If you haven’t read this section, I would high suggest you read it.

Being obedient to the Lords commandments, is directly related to keeping your covenants. He's set specific rules for us to follow. It's like D&C 82:10 "I, the Lord, am bound when ye do what I say; but when ye do not do what I say, ye have no promise." Heavenly Father wants us to follow Him so, He can protect us and one day return to Him.

Gender and Eternal Identity

Divine nature is given from God. Elder D. Todd Christofferson talked of his grandma. He said “Grandma Swenson never learned how to drive a car, but she knew how to help boys become priesthood men. A woman’s moral influence is nowhere more powerfully felt or more beneficially employed than in the home.” We live in a world where we think that equality means you have to be doing the thing as the same gender. This is not true. I grew up with my mother, for the most part, being in the home. She received her Bachelor’s degree in accounting when I was 2 or 3 years old. She was a smart lady. She graduated Magna Cum Laude, meaning she graduated with honors for how high her GPA was. She ended up working at Ernst & Young for 2 years. Right before we moved (I was about 5), my mom told the company she was going to quit to stay home with her kids. Her boss and co-workers thought she was making a bad move and she was missing out on having a great career. She didn’t care. She knew that raising her kids was more important than anything else she could do. My mom knew her divine nature of being a woman and was willing to sacrifice for the Lord and her family.

Margaret D. Nadauld said “The world has enough women who are tough; we need women who are tender. There are enough women who are coarse; we need women who are kind. There are enough women who are rude; we need women who are refined. We have enough women of fame and fortune; we need more women of faith. We have enough greed; we need more goodness. We have enough vanity; we need more virtue. We have enough popularity; we need more purity.” When I become a mother, my children will be my first priority because my “primarily responsible for the nurture of their children. In these sacred responsibilities, fathers and mothers are obligated to help one another as equal partners.” For me, a career isn’t worth missing out on that.

 The priesthood is essential for us to have in our lives to help us reach our fullest potential. Elder D. Todd Christofferson  said “As men of the priesthood, we have an essential role to play in society, at home, and in the Church. But we must be men that women can trust, that children can trust, and that God can trust. In the Church and kingdom of God in these latter days, we cannot afford to have boys and men who are drifting. We cannot afford young men who lack self-discipline and live only to be entertained. We cannot afford young adult men who are going nowhere in life, who are not serious about forming families and making a real contribution in this world. We cannot afford husbands and fathers who fail to provide spiritual leadership in the home. We cannot afford to have those who exercise the Holy Priesthood, after the Order of the Son of God, waste their strength in pornography or spend their lives in cyberspace (ironically being of the world while not being in the world).” I know it’s a long quote but, to me it’s said perfectly. It relates back to men’s divine nature. Men have to be ready at a moment’s notice to use their priesthood and be prepared at all times to act. Without the priesthood, the church could not continue on, so it’s important to have worthy priesthood holders.

Eternal Truths

Over the past few weeks, I've been able to read talks by Elder Henry B. Eyring "The Family" and Elder Robert D. Hales "The Eternal Family".These talks really helped understand the eternal consequences and values of eternal marriage. The quote that stood out to me the most was from Elder Hales talk. He said “By divine commandment, spouses are required to love each other above all others.” That’s huge!! Marriage is a commitment to your spouse and the Lord. Its very much the same when we make covenants at the temple. We receive endowments or knowledge from the Lord. By doing this, we are making convents with the Lord to obey all of his commandments. I started to wonder why loving your spouse was such a big commandment. Elder Eyring has said “Eternal life means to become like the Father and to live in families in happiness and joy forever…” We can’t be the happiest we can be if we don’t love who we will spend an eternity with. Heavenly Father wants us to feel joy that whole time, so he made this commandment preparatory to living with him for all eternity. We must obey all the commandments He gives, because he’s going to prepare us for eternity.

Before we understand how to love our spouses, or our neighbors, or ourselves for that matter, we must understand the nature of God.  I really didn’t understand the nature of God before this class. First off, I learned that God was just like us before he was exulted. I don’t know why, but before I couldn’t grasp that concept. I mean I knew he once was in a mortal state like us but, it’s weird to imagine that for me. I just saw God as God.  This really put God into perspective for me. Joseph Smith’s said “If men don’t comprehend the character of God, they don’t comprehend themselves.” This is a very true statement. If we don’t know the character of God, we don’t see the potential everyone has to become perfect like him someday. 

The Doilies

"I am reminded of a story about a couple who had been married for 60 years. They had rarely argued during that time, and their days together passed in happiness and contentment. They shared everything and had no secrets between them—except one. The wife had a box that she kept at the top of a sideboard, and she told her husband when they were married that he should never look inside.As the decades passed, the moment came that her husband took the box down and asked if he could finally know what it contained. The wife consented, and he opened it to discover two doilies and $25,000. When he asked his wife what this meant, she responded, “When we were married, my mother told me that whenever I was angry with you or whenever you said or did something I didn’t like, I should knit a small doily and then talk things through with you.” The husband was moved to tears by this sweet story. He marveled that during 60 years of marriage he had only disturbed his wife enough for her to knit two doilies. Feeling extremely good about himself, he took his wife’s hand and said, “That explains the doilies, but what about the $25,000?”His wife smiled sweetly and said, “That’s the money I got from selling all the doilies I’ve knitted over the years.”

I love this! President Dieter F. Uchtdorf, has such funny stories but, this is my favorite. This story was from his "What is Truth?" talk. Fantastic talk! If you liked this story, you'll LOVE this talk.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N42v7YqXE9I

Why are Unbearable Trials Important?

This week has made me question, why would God let bad things happen to good people? Recently, I thought I was going to through some terrible trials until yesterday. Carson’s friend and his fiancee were on the road going home. Two hours out on their trip, they rolled. Carson’s friend passed away. His fiancee is in critical condition. I can’t imagine how much her life and their families life has been turned upside down. As I type this, I can’t help but, to cry and pray for these people. It also scares me, because that could have happened to anyone. Why did Heavenly Father let this happen? Why couldn't he have stopped this? I think Elder Quentin L. Cook, an Apostle for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, put it in a clear and simple way, “There are many kinds of challenges. Some give us necessary experiences. Adverse results in this mortal life are not evidence of lack of faith or of an imperfection in our Father in Heaven’s overall plan. The refiner’s fire is real, and qualities of character and righteousness that are forged in the furnace of affliction perfect and purify us and prepare us to meet God (Cook, Q.).”  Another Apostle named Elder Jeffery R. Holland said this “You will have occasion to ask those questions. I have thought about this a great deal. I offer this as my personal feeling. [Trials are] not easy because salvation is not a cheap experience. Salvation never was easy…The only way to salvation is through Gethsemane and on to Calvary (Holland, J. 2000).” I am so grateful for the Savior, Jesus Christ. He knows exactly what every person is going through; he knows it’s hard and has nothing but empathy towards us. What Jesus Christ went through in the Garden in Gethsemane, in Jerusalem, and finally, on the cross on Calvary was hard. He suffered as any normal human being would have suffered. He was beaten, bruised, and bled from every pore on his body. In a way, when Jesus Christ suffered in the Garden of Gethsemane, he went through the refiner’s fire to know what we would go through. Matthew 26:38-39 explains how Christ felt when he did suffer, saying, “Then saith he unto them, my soul is exceeding sorrowful, even unto death: tarry ye here, and watch with me… And he went a little further, and fell on his face, and prayed, saying, O my Father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from me: nevertheless not as I will, but as thou wilt.” He cried out, like we would, to our Heavenly Father to help him. He wanted the pain to end, never the less, He knew He had to drink that bitter cup. It was the only way to save us and to help us in our time of need. Elder Holland continued to say in that talk “The only way to eternity is through Him—the Way, the Truth, and the Life.” I know this to be true. During our unbearable trials, where we feel we cannot make another step, I know we can because; we can rely on the Lord and Jesus Christ. When you start to think and ask the Lord, “Why, when I needed you most, you have not been there for me (Stevenson, M)?” Remember this “The Lord replied, ‘The times when you have seen only one set of footprints in the sand, is when I carried you (Stevenson, M).”

References:

Cook, Q. (n.d.). The Songs They Could Not Sing - Quentin L. Cook. Retrieved December 18, 2014, from https://www.lds.org/general-conference/print/2011/10/the-songs-they-could-not-sing?lang=eng

Holland, J. (2000, June 20). Missionary Work and the Atonement - Ensign Mar. 2001 - ensign. Retrieved December 18, 2014, from https://www.lds.org/ensign/2001/03/missionary-work-and-the-atonement?lang=eng

Stevenson, M. (n.d.). Footprints in the Sand – Poem. Retrieved December 18, 2014, from http://www.poetseers.org/the-great-poets/misc-2/footprints-in-the-sand/