What 2013 has Taught Me

Well its that time each year, Christmas is here, the year is almost over and most importantly, FINALS are OVER!! Wahoo!! Ya'll probably celebrate doing something like this....

if not......well, this is awkward....

Anyways, its the end of the year and I would like to reflect on everything that has happened to me this past year. 

2013 has taught me to regret nothing!

On January 26th of 2013, I opened a letter that said "Dear Sister Heninger: You are hereby called to serve as a missionary of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. You have been assigned to labor in the Canada Winnipeg Mission...You will report to the Provo Missionary Training Center on Wednesday, May 1, 2013..."

(If you did not get a chance to see me open my call: here the link https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=595698950441948&set=vb.100000055447440&type=3&theater)

The night I received my mission call

As concerning my mission, I regret nothing! I met so many people who have changed my life forever and have had so many experiences that grew me closer to my Savior. I want to say that my mission affect me more than any other person but, I feel like Elder Holland might have a problem with that (sorry, Mormon humor). So, I'll say that my mission was like walking through a bed of roses. While walking through it, I was scraped. I was poked. I was hurt. I questioned if I wanted to do this but, when I look back, all I see are those roses. 

2013 has taught me to rely on the Savior during difficult times.

Unfortunately, my mission was cut short due to medical issues. You know what I hate though: the words medical issues. I came home for medical issues, yes but, on my mission I was diagnosed with an anxiety disorder. For those who don't know what that is, think about yourself before you take a test. Your nervous so you tap your foot or move your body or whatnot to cope. For me I have that anxiety all day everyday.... times ten! This creates something called panic attacks which "are periods of intense fear or apprehension that are of sudden onset and of variable duration from minutes to hours. Panic attacks usually begin abruptly, may reach a peak within 10 minutes, but may continue for much longer if the sufferer had the attack triggered by a situation from which they are not able to escape (thanks Wikipedia!)". 

My district in the MTC

As you can imagine, this makes it very hard for me to cope with life sometimes. Though this time in my life was difficult, I have never drawn closer to my Savior, Jesus Christ. I remember hitting a point on my mission where I felt like I didn't think I could press forward. I told my companion at the time, I needed to go and pray by myself in the next room of our apartment. I walked into our small little closet, crying. My knees hit the floor and I poured out my soul to Heavenly Father. I begged him to help me understand why my mission was hard. Why did I have to deal with this? Then a quote came to me, one that I had heard at the MTC or Missionary Training Center. "Salvation is NOT a cheap experience! In order to understand what Jesus Christ went through, we must walk through the Garden of Gethsemane." I also remembered the prophet Joseph Smith. Even if your not a member or don't agree with our beliefs, I think we can agree that Joseph Smith at times was tortured. This man was ripped away from his family and members of the church countless times to be either to be tared and feathered, beaten up by mobs, or cast into prison to be tortured there. This abuse didn't just end there, the other Saints had unbelievable physical and mental torture. There is an account of Joseph Smith in Liberty Jail where he asked "O God, where art thou? And where is the pavilion that covereth thy hiding place? How long shall thy hand be stayed, and thine eye, yea thy pure eye, behold from the eternal heavens the wrongs of thy people and of thy servants, and thine ear be penetrated with their cries? Yea, O Lord, how long shall they suffer these wrongs and unlawful oppressions, before thine heart shall be softened toward them, and thy bowels be moved with compassion toward them (D&C 121: 1-3)?" For any man or woman, that could have easily have been the last straw for them, but for Joseph Smith and the other Saints, that was not the case. Not once did Joseph Smith deny what he saw in that grove! He knew that he "...saw two Personages, whose brightness and glory defy all description, standing above [him] in the air. One of them spake unto me, calling [him] by name and said, pointing to the other—This is My Beloved Son. Hear Him!" Back to Liberty jail, in this agony, Joseph Smith was able to feel the Holy Ghost testify this to him "My son, peace be unto thy soul; thine adversity and thine afflictions shall be but a small moment; (D&C 121:7. Other quote Jospeh Smith History 1:17)" I knew this to be true. I know we will go through trials that feel unbelievable to us and we don't know how to press forward, but if we rely on the Atonement of Jesus Christ, we can be delivered from our afflictions and trials.

One of my favorite young women, Megan, from Saskatoon

I know that The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints is Jesus Christ's church upon the earth today. I know some of you will look at this testimony and go "Pffffhhhh! She doesn't know what she is talking about!" That's where your wrong. I do. I would not have planned to give up 18 months to serve the Lord if I didn't. I would not still be going to BYU-I if I didn't. I would have not kept the standards that I have had through my life if I did not believe this was Jesus Christ's church upon the earth today. I wouldn't be the person that you know today if I didn't. If you don't believe me, ask any of the millions of practicing members. They'll tell you, just as I have told you.

Elder Peterson and Myself. Same home ward and same mission call.

2013 has taught me to be comfortable with myself and where I am.

Coming home from my mission was very hard for me. I did not want to be home. I did not want to have an anxiety disorder. I just did not want to be me at that moment. I wanted to be back out on my mission doing what every other missionary was doing. Looking back now, I see that the best choice was for me to come home and get better. It has been hard. I've had people who have judged me for coming home early when they do not know the whole story. I wanted to go home and just curl up in a ball of blankets and never come out. Then I realized, I'm letting my anxiety win. I'm letting my peers get the best of me. I'm letting Satan get a hold of me. As soon as I realized that I said, enough! It took me many months but, now, I can say I'm comfortable with where I am. Through this, I've had amazing family and friends who have loved me and supported me though everything. I am blessed to have this amazing support group!

Some of my best friends. Thanks for being my unbiological sisters!

My Fantastically Amazing Parents 

One of My Other Unbiological Sisters! Love her!

My amazing grandmother who is letting me stay with her

So what I'm saying through all this is love yourself and live your life! Enjoy the little moments! Most importantly, rely on Christ. Thanks 2013, for all these and many other lessons. Lets hope 2014 will be just as amazing!